The Heart of 2018

Once again thanks to A Blissful Existence I’m using the colouring of a mandala and crystals to connect with the new year and set positive focus for the months ahead.

I do find this process relaxing and powerful. It helps me to set my intention and goals for the new year.

There are so many layers of meaning here for me which flows naturally, the colours used, the shapes identified, helps me to set a clear path into the new year in a symbolic ritualistic way.

Through this process I have the affirmation, follow your heart, to guide me through the unknown of the year ahead. By having such an affirmation, I have a sort of compass that’s internal to remind me of what type of paths I want to tread this new year.

And now I’m ready for 2018!

Lilliana Rose

www.lillianarose.com

The Art Within

I’m about to discover my artistic style when drawing and painting. blank canvas

Driving home from art class I had an insight to my art journey. I’m learning about drawing and painting, and while I’ve attempted to do this over the years, very much amateur-like, I’ve not established or discovered my style.

I realised it’s a little like unwrapping a gift when you have no idea what’s inside. So far there are hints my art will be bold and colourful (which would match my personality), but maybe other aspects will shine through. A softer side? A darker side? A funny side? It’s certainly an exciting position to be in.

What makes this even more exciting is that I never thought I had any real artistic talent in terms of painting, and definitely not with drawing. This is because of a few reasons. Mainly from the wrong comments, and a little too much criticism, by well meaning people when I was young. I then continued to keep these comments alive in my mind by saying them to myself every time I drew or painted.

Also it’s easy to compare yourself with others starting at a young age. This self-perception is within naturally. There’s always someone better than you, especially if you look negatively at your own work. It can be a block. Once I realised this, I address these feelings so they wouldn’t stop me from expressing myself artistically. A big part of this process is not looking at other people’s work, if I do it is only with admiration.

I’ve gone through this process with writing. I’m more practised at observing how I feel and I notice the resistance coming up. I know I’d rather go stand in the corner and cry than do the art classes. But this is me. No one else is causing this and I can face my fear, which leads me out of my comfort zone so I’m growing and discovering new things about myself. The difference is also now I’m ready to discover my style and I’m willing to explore an undiscovered part of myself. cube sphere painted

To find the new artistic skill within me and coax it out into life is fun. Instead of being fearful, or anxious, I am excited to discover what might develop and allow my style to be released. It’s exhilarating. A mix of excitement, nerves, anticipation, expectation, and wonder. All from simply drawing and painting in class.

The result is I’m on the edge of discovering my style of expression, and to allow the art that has been locked inside of me for so long out.

A Thing for Journals

It could be said that you can never have too many blank journals ready to be written in but I suspect I would be an exception.

I can’t walk past a new journal – crisp untouched pages, a cute image on the front, inspiring messages scattered throughout, glitter on the cover. The blank pages call out to me wanting to be written on and I can’t refuse the call. Ideas already pop into my head demanding to be written, right then and there. It becomes almost like if I don’t buy the journal the ideas will abandon me and be lost forever. Not quite but the joy that sparks through me when looking at a new journal is delightful.

journalsStanding there in the shop holding it in my hand it becomes a conduit for my creative writing. A new potential seeds in my mind and begins to take root and its like this new journal, still yet unopened, is the fertiliser, water, soil and sun all rolled into one and the perfect balance to help this idea grow and blossom. I want to do everything possible to nurture this idea so it reaches its full potential.

When writing it’s more than sitting down churning out the words, there is also fun and play as part of my process. Buying journals is just that, it’s my fun, its my play and it’s a magical time when my imagination can open new doors because I’m not actually looking for ideas or inspiration.

I use these journal to write poetry, to journal through my thoughts or events in life, to plan stories, to write first drafts but more importantly I use these journals to play with ideas, to try new story lines to have fun exploring what I might discover if I’ve set myself a writing exercise – to have fun with words.

This is what the journals provide for me and so I cherish them, even before I’ve written in them – right then those blank pages are reminding me of my potential and what I could do on their pages if I dare.

And so I buy another journal.journal

Which Pen?

I never realised how important it was choosing a pen to write with. I’d always been a little fussy, and I had a love for stationary, but I didn’t realise how deep this passion went, right down to the point of having to decide what pen I would write with for a particular story.

When I come to write with pen and paper I had developed a ritual on choosing the pen to use – without realising it until taking photos of my coffee and writing implements and noticing the different pens that featured. So it got me thinking about this process and what it might reflect about my approach to writing and creative expression.

The pen chosen depends on what I’m writing; poetry, journaling, first draft of a prose piece, or what pen happens to be in my handbag. But it’s more than what I’m writing.

When I started writing more seriously, I decided to treat myself and buy a modern fountain pen. I enjoyed writing in ink, more so when I was journaling or writing poems. The fountain pen was easy to move, and the ink flowed, helping the words to come into existence on the page forming their own type of imagery. I couldn’t help feeling like a scribe of old, and it provided some of the magical energy needed to create.

It’s not all romantic-like when writing, there’s also a practical side to consider. The ink cartridges for the fountain pens weren’t cheap and I would use them quickly. Also I had some cheaper journals and the ink would seep through making it difficult to read what was on the other side. At the time I was being mindful of money so I retired the fountain pen and returned to my cheap ball point biro. I can write quickly with this pen when I need to. When the images come, and the creativity flows, it’s important to catch the words, and not have to be concerned with a pen that’s not handling the heavy duty workout.

I’ve also discovered coloured ball point pens to mix it up, but I always return to my blue coloured pens. And black pens just don’t work for me. I like to see the blue ink on the white paper.

Thinking about the pen I use to write with gave me an insight to how I approach my writing and how choosing a pen is part of my creative expression, even if I’m the only person who reads rough draft. This process of pen selection revealed a hidden aspect of my creative expression that I hadn’t previously noticed.

The equipment you use to express your self is important. It’s not enough just to grab a pen and book. At least it’s not for me. I want to be using a pen that is like me; fits well in my hand, moves with my fast strokes to create word after word. After all it’s an extension of my arm, it’s the movement from neurone pathways directing the dance on the blank page, which in parts creates my story. And that’s why the pen used is important.

pen and journal

 

Light and Shadow

Recently, I decided to change over the out dated light pendants in my home from the previous owner to something more my style. How hard could it be? Just find a design I like, which is also in my price range. I’m not fussy. While there are thousands of designs out there I wasn’t going to agonise, “which one am I going to buy?”

My plan was to go in, follow my heart and allow my intuition to guide me. I’d know if it’s the right light for me or not, because of a gut feeling. Even though I walked in and was slightly overwhelmed by the variety of choices I still managed to make a few decisions, made easier as I was combining a ceiling fan with a light.

ceiling fan.jpg

Then I hit a wall.

All because the sale assistant pointed out how I needed to take in to account the hanging length and where the shadows would fall. This stopped me in my tracks.

Shadows? But I’m buying a light, there won’t be any shadows. It wasn’t something I’d considered and it meant the pendant lights I’d fallen in love with weren’t suitable. Now, it seems obvious this is something I should’ve thought about. I was changing a frosted glass pendant for one that was solid and so would cast shadows on the ceiling, or my cupboards depending on how high I could hang it. I just hadn’t thought it through enough. Lucky the lady spoke up.

It got me thinking about how light pushes the shadows away, but there are constraints with this and while I might try to bring parts of my life out of the shadows for reflection, the area of light I bring it into may not be as large or bright as I’d have anticipated. Even in the light things aren’t what they seem and perspectives can still be overlooked or simply not seen.

I left the light shop with no pendants and my mind thinking of light and shadows, what will work and how the hell did this task get so complicated, especially when I didn’t have the time or head space for this. The task was meant to be straight forward, easy and fun and a cheaper way to make my home mine. I was rather pensive at how a simple task could be more involved and would take more energy I had planned to give. But it’s important. It comes back to light and dark. I don’t want shadows in my home, and I don’t want too much bright light, and I want beautiful pendants to feature in my rooms. I thought about the balance I wanted in my home and where I’d be comfortable for the shadows to fall so they wouldn’t hinder my lifestyle – because I came to the conclusion I’d needed some shadows so as not to be blinded by the light. I didn’t realise how symbolic changing the lights in my home would be.

I went back to the shop and again using my intuition, but with the help of a few weeks of thinking, I selected the pendants, taking into account the shadows that would be cast into the room. Because there will always be shadows in my life.

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