I can’t believe this happened! I’m usually so organised, especially when it comes to pens. And when writing with a fountain pen, there’s a little more to consider like having spare ink cartridges. There’s nothing more frustrating than running out of ink when writing, more so when I’m in the flow.
So I couldn’t believe it when I went to change my ink cartridge, to find that the spare was indeed used, empty! I can see the funny side to all of this. And as much as it pained me, I switched over and used another pen – not the look I like in my journal, but it really doesn’t matter. Now, I do have a fresh ink cartridge in my handbag, ready to go.
For various reasons I stopped art class for a few months, just sometimes there are other things which need attention. I’ve returned to art classes for the three lessons at the end of the term to complete the Intermediate level.
The usual block wasn’t there for me. I wasn’t feeling as critical towards my art or self-conscious or worried whether or not I’d create a mess or not. I even went straight into a small painting of a pomegranate, no sketching beforehand, just marking out the outline with a paintbrush and a little watered down Alizarin red. I’ve never done anything like that before. I wasn’t nervous, critical or even doubting myself. I stepped up, and outlined in paint, then I got painting. What had changed?
Maybe I feel a little more familiar with drawing and painting. I wasn’t attached to the outcome, because I wasn’t trying to be perfect first up and I wasn’t trying to produce a masterpiece. All I wanted to do was to finish this small painting in one lesson as best I could.
Reflecting on how I felt, I also noticed that I was more connected to my art, just as it came out, just as it was. I wasn’t tyring to force the process, but simply be. Without being critical about my art or doubting myself I could also be more connected to it, find the flow and let it out in whatever way that was going to be.
It was a more harmonious process. It was refreshing not to have an internal tug of war with myself. This particular art class marked a turning point in my painting journey. Before I was so out of my comfort zone, but now less so to the point where I could begin to enjoy myself and not be crippled by fear and doubt.
This was also the first time I’d been more aware of this change during a creative journey. In the past I’ve not been so self-aware. By being self-aware of the process I can ensure I repeat this positive outcome in the future when trying new writing projects or any new creative project.
And of course it’s a gentle reminder to keep persisting.
Has there been a time when you were completing a creative project and you noticed a shift in how you connected with your art? Please share below.