Happy Mother’s Day

Mother’s Day is an mixed day for me. My mum has passed, she’s been gone for over ten years now. You never know how things might change in life, and her passing was one of those things. I’ve learnt to treat this day like any other. One year, I even went on a first date! My mum would’ve thought it alright to do, and seen the funny side to it all. While it didn’t work out with that guy, it was one of the best dates I’ve had. You never can predict these things!

Last year was different.

Last year was my first Mother’s Day as a mum, and it was super special, and also a blur, as bubs was only three weeks old.

This year it will be different again, as he’s over one, but still unaware of what the day means. The day is becoming more meaningful for me. But really everyday feels like Mother’s Day with him. And the day is so much more about being a mum. This year, I’m catching up with family, and we’re celebrating the day together. It’s an excuse for us to make time for each other, and take time out of our busy lives. It’s not so much about it being about Mother’s Day, but being a family, and being together – and celebrating that.

Wishing you all a Happy Mother’s Day!

 

 

Lady at Café

As part of a three week project in art class, I had to measure a figure from an image, transposing it firstly on paper, the on canvas, and finally painting it with oils. Figures aren’t my strength. Neither is measuring. I’m much better at making things up…sort of.

Once again I found myself at the bottom of a steep learning curve. I learnt the importance of planning, measuring and taking the time to draw out the main outline of the image I was copying – a lady sitting at the table at a café. I was inspired by the image, hey it was a lady sitting at a table at a café! This is what I love to do, except I’m usually writing, or catching up with friends.

I managed to draw the figure on the canvas, I got the idea of using tones to build up the colours, yet it just didn’t feel like it came together for me. Why not? Just a week or so before I learnt a new technique, produced a Bunny and was inspired to go and try this at home. But with the Lady at the Café, it felt flat.

lady in cafe 2The photo here shows where I’m up to, and I’m not quite finished, but I’m so uninspired to try and do any work on the canvas at home. How can the Bunny work but not the Lady? Well, different teachers? I do understand the different techniques used, but I am struggling to apply tones with the oils. With these canvases there are two very different techniques. That could be an influence. For whatever reason even though I wanted to push through and try and point a figure using oils it just didn’t work. To me it feels flat.

Then I realised that in the last lesson of working on this painting I did feel flat. Maybe my frame of mind came through into my painting. After all, a week before when drawing the lady on the canvas, even though I had done her wrong (the measurements were way out), I felt inspired to go home and try and fix her up (I didn’t which perhaps was a shame, but life does get in the way sometimes and it’s just what it is).

But the final lesson of working on this project because of a variety of factors unrelated to the art (hot weather, looking after bubs, and writing) meant I was feeling a little flat.

While doing art or craft or other creative projects can help lift your mood, be good for wellbeing, and help process life, the reverse can also happen.

I think this is what could have happened in this painting. And it’s helpful for me to be aware of this. To be mindful, so that if it happens again (which is a reality, because it is part of the creative process), I can recognise it for what it is, not be judgemental on myself, and choose to work to fix the art, or move on to another project.

All is not lost with Lady at Café, I can still continue with this painting. I won’t as right now I’m not inspired too. But I might be in the future. Now at least the process of creating this canvas has given me insight on how my mood can influence my art, and that by being mindful I can gain valuable insights to how the creative process works for me.

Have you noticed a time or stage when going through the creative process where you have gained insight to your approach? Please share below in the comments.

Inside/outside

I’m sitting on the inside/outside boundary of a cafe, on a sunny spring-is-almost-here day.

Perfect inspiration!

Plus I have a large coffee and a gorgeous journal.

Art Classes with Bubs

As a new mum, there’s a lot to juggled. Maybe I don’t need to be going along to art class, I’m not sure I’ve got the time or if I can really afford it. But then my soul needs nourishment, and for me it’s natural to go along to art class with bubs. Can’t start them too young! So far bubs has been exposed to university, art classes, Pilates, and a creativity writing workshop I presented. His education is about to continue with an upcoming conference I’m presenting at. There’s lots of variety for him to experience, even now, just by me simply living my life.

During art class, Bub is in the sling, resting on my chest as I paint. He’s content. The other ladies in the class are amused, nothing like a little baby energy in the room to help with the creativity! Instead of a tea break half-way through the class, for me there’s a bottle break. I can use the time to chill, and also reflect what direction I want to take my painting (which I’m having to go to plan B because I’ve stuffed up! And Bubs has been such an angel I can’t even blame him. Completely my lesson to learn here!). I’m very grateful for Splashout to help accommodate by letting me come along with bubs.

my art in need of fixing

By going along to art class, I’m reminded that my mum did something similar. She had her baby daughters in the wicker bassinets, under the table, while she did her china painting. It’s what the women in our family do. It’s a tradition. And I’m glad to be continuing it. The quiet things you’ve learnt from mum, which you then pass down to your child; an unexpected bonus, which also helps keep my memory of mum alive.

Lilliana

The Walk

Nearly two months ago, I lost one of my dogs, Astro, to brain disease. There’s been big changes recently in my life, and it’s interesting when simply walking along a familar path how it’s the same but also different and filled with opposing emotions, happy and sad, at the same time.

The Walk

(C)  Lilliana Rose 2018

Today was the first walk,
as a new family
along the beach
Kimba on the left
pram on the right
me following behind
Kimba excited
Bubs sleeping
me remembering
today is the first walk
without Astro.

 

beach

Changes of Grief

The other day was my dad’s birthday, I have to think too much to work out how old he’d be, I do know more easily he’s been gone nearly 16years.

My poem, The Present was in the Mozzie, and was a lovely read when I opened my mail.

Big changes

So much to write journal about… 💕 There’s been a lot of changes lately. It’s good to finally sit and journal.

And a walk is a good way to get baby sleeping!

The last few weeks have been full on, good, bad, and ugly. With one dog sick, a week later Bub is born, another week later my other dog is suddenly terminally ill and is now a star in the sky. I’ve not had time to write, journal or much else. But that’s life. And it’s a new flow that I’m having to adjust to. I wouldn’t have it any other way (though I wish Astro was still with me!)

Change is in the Air

This morning I decided to head into the Central markets, for a sneaky scrambled eggs breakfast, and for some time to write in a cafe. A trip that would normally take 15 minutes, took an hour because of traffic. And when I got to the cafe the chef was off sick.

I’m glad I still made the effort to go. The young girl at the cafe made some beautiful scrambled eggs, and I wrote. I began typing up a letter as part of my family research which is address to my unborn child – a letter I wrote over a year ago well before I was pregnant, and at a time when I’d given up all hope of having a baby.

I realised the significance of this trip into one of my favourite cafes in the Central markets. The next time is going to be very different for me. I’m not sure when the next time will be. But it will involve a pram, my baby, and quite possible not much writing.

This morning’s trip into the markets may not have been the perfect last time, but it was just as good to get the insight of how much change is in the air for me, and how different such a visit will be in the future. And to be reminded of the letter I wrote (stay tuned for more about this, but you’re going to need to be patient!).

Depending of course when baby decides to come!

Lilliana

Doing it Differently

I don’t normally stick notes or anything into my journals. I might it if is a travel journal, but I don’t for my everyday journaling. For some reason I simply write by hand.

But this time I’ve decided to do things differently. Maybe it is the style of this new journal, full of inspirational quotes at the bottom of the pages? Or the colourful inspiring cover, and occasional internal pages which seem to call my muse to me.

Either way, I’ve started by sticking in a number of fun quotes that I’ve collected from fortune cookies. But there’s more to the story. I’ve had these fortune cookies when going out with my very close writing friends. When we have our catch up over Thai food and talk all things writing and life. And with one friend now moved away, these quotes remind me that I am supported on my writing journey, and that we had some fun evenings together. They are more than just quotes from fortune cookies. They are little gateways into my recent memories, and so they now have a special place at the start of my new journal.

Lilliana

Look within ~ there is something beautiful, something sacred inside you, a space full of infinite wisdom

Old Haunts

Today I decided to go back to one of the cafes where I was Cafe Poet in residence a few years ago. The Annex Cafe, which is much different now, with new owners, a more open space and new menu, yet the vibe was familiar. Perhaps it was my memories that haunt me and make it feel familiar?

Sometimes it’s nice to visit new cafes, but then again it’s just as inspiring and good for the muse to write in one of my old haunts.

A productive morning writing, not bad for the start of the weekend. And I’m sure it’s got everything to do for visiting a cafe where I used to write a lot, and to re-connect with my muse who lives here.

This old haunt might just have to become a regular once more.

Lilliana Rose 🌹

www.lillianarose.com