I’ve been doing art classes as a way to help me develop my drawing and painting skills. Going through this process has been beneficial for me on many levels. I’m getting out of the house, doing something for me, meeting new people, learning new skills, and expressing myself.
I’ve been reflecting on how I feel during this process and trying to capture the new thoughts that come to me as a means of becoming more self-aware.
I noticed recently how I felt at the start of the art class, after a full days work, tired and not wanting to do much except lay on the couch all night. I became aware of the resistance and negative thoughts going through my entire body at the thought of having to stand at the easel for two and half hours, trying something new which would require me to concentrate, think, and feel. Not as appealing as I’d hoped for. It was a little more than just me having trouble getting started. I was like a car that wouldn’t start because it had been flooded with too much fuel. I already had an active mind from work and I was resisting taking on anything that would add to my brain activity. It was a resistance of sorts, which I worked through, and in doing so I gained insights to the process of creative expression.
I was resisting because I have to give up a part of myself, and to let go of control in order to create. I didn’t want to do that when I was tired, as I was already feeling vulnerable. While it’s not a big part of myself to give up, it felt like it, and of course my ego was in on it.
To create you’ve got to surrender part of yourself, give up control and just write uninhibited, or paint without a care. Giving up this control is only temporary at the time. Thanks to my ego, it feels like it will be forever, and a tug of war can begin. When I let go of the rope and wanting to be in control, I draw, paint, feel inspired and become energised. My tiredness is reduced and I find a little confidence within myself at being vulnerable while not being in control. I also have a sense of accomplishment at creating something uniquely mine.
During the class, I’ve connected with people on the same path as me and I’ve spent time in a new environment. It’s not just the benefits of creating art, there’s an entirely bigger package that is part of this process, either way there are many benefits of art and creative expression.